10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Being a Pastor

By Kara Veach

As Kyle and I enter in a season of transition from one ministry assignment to the next, I have spent some time reflecting on 10 lessons I've learned over the past 10 years of being lead pastors in the same community. Kyle & I were given the keys to a church when we were 29 and 26 years old. We had one kid at the time and another on the way. Now we're 40 and 36, have 3 kids, and are about to pass off a healthy, thriving church with an amazing staff, joy-filled history, and is Jesus-centered.

Pastoring for 10 years has been a journey filled with so many lessons, incredible challenges, and immense joy. Reflecting on these ten years, I have gathered insights that have profoundly shaped my ministry and my perspective on leading a church. Here are ten things I’ve learned in my ten years of pastoring.

1. The Church is God’s Church, Not Ours

The first and foremost lesson I've learned is that the church belongs to God. No matter what we do or how much effort we put into our ministries, it is God who ultimately owns and sustains the church. We are privileged to be co-workers in His grand plan of redemption. This perspective keeps us humble and reliant on God’s strength and wisdom, rather than our own abilities.

Recognizing that the church is God’s helps us surrender our ambitions and agendas, focusing instead on obedience and faithfulness. The rise and fall of attendance, the "success" or "failure" of events, and the transitions "good" or "bad" of staff members is never a surprise to Him. He is in control, and we just get to steward the opportunity to serve Him as well as we can. This surrender allows us to experience God’s power working through us in ways we could never achieve on our own.

2. Church Can Be Fun

Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit, and it should be evident in our church gatherings. In a society weighed down by negativity, the church should stand as a beacon of hope, light, goodness, freedom, and joy. Embracing laughter and fun in our services and community activities reflects the joy we have in Christ.

Creating a joyful environment doesn’t mean avoiding serious issues but rather approaching them with the hope and victory we have in Jesus. It’s about celebrating the life we have in Christ and the community we share together.

3. Families & Kids Win

The future of the church lies in the hands of the next generation. Prioritizing teaching and reaching families and children is crucial for the church’s survival and growth. Parents are looking for support in raising their children to know and follow Jesus, and the church must step up to meet this need. Investing in family ministries, providing resources, and creating a supportive environment for parents can significantly impact the spiritual growth of both children and adults.

When families thrive, the church thrives.

4. People Are Funny

One of the lighter lessons I've learned is that people often make funny and unexpected decisions. Despite our best efforts to guide and support them, individuals will respond in ways that surprise us. This unpredictability is part of the human experience and reminds us to approach ministry with grace and flexibility.

Understanding that we cannot control others’ actions helps us navigate tough moments with patience and humor. People are never the enemy. There is a real enemy, but it is our job to love God's creation even if it surprises us. We are to trust God with the outcomes of our relationships and conversations and continue loving people unconditionally.

5. Celebrating Goes Further Than Correcting

Encouragement and celebration build the church, while constant criticism can tear it down. Recognizing and affirming people’s contributions fosters a positive and motivated community. When we focus on building people up, they are more likely to find joy in serving the church rather than viewing it as a burden.

Celebrating milestones, achievements, and personal growth within the church community strengthens relationships and fosters a culture of appreciation and mutual support. Your greeters are the best. Your coffee team is the best. All your teams are the best. Make them feel that way!

6. Everybody is Leaving

It’s a hard truth, but everyone is eventually leaving the church, whether through moving, passing away, or simply moving on. Sometimes it's with the middle finger, and sometimes we never get to know. Understanding this helps us hold people loosely but love them deeply. When people leave, we should send them off with love and blessings.

This perspective encourages us to invest in people while they are with us, making the most of our time together and ensuring that they leave with a sense of being valued and loved.

7. People Want to Be Loved, Wanted, and Needed

Everyone has a deep desire to find their place and feel valued. As pastors and church leaders, it’s essential to recognize and affirm people’s worth. By memorizing names, details about peoples' lives, and finding places for them to connect and serve, we demonstrate that they are not just numbers but integral parts of the body of Christ.

Creating an inclusive and welcoming environment where people feel loved, wanted, and needed helps build a strong and united church community.

8. There is Power in an Invitation (even from a pastor)

While social media and online presence are valuable, personal invitations are the most effective way to bring people to church - not just from congregants, but from pastors engrained in the community. People with whom you are in relationship with are more likely to attend or engage online because of a personal connection and trust in the person inviting them.

Encouraging church members to invite their friends, family, and neighbors can significantly impact church growth and outreach. No's will happen. In fact, you'll hear a lot more no's then yeses. BUT, sometimes, persistence overcomes resistance. :)

9. People Are Refreshed by Real

Authenticity is crucial in ministry. People are refreshed and drawn to genuine leaders who are true to themselves and transparent about their own journeys. I have never been great at announcements or sounding perfectly put together, but it is out of my mistakes, flustered comments, and the ability to laugh at myself that people have felt comfortable knowing that they do not have to be perfect in the House of God. God has positioned us where we are, to be who He made us to be, and we must steward our responsibilities with authenticity.

Being real and vulnerable with our struggles and victories helps build trust and encourages others to do the same.

10. Genuine Apologies Are Necessary

No matter how right we might feel or how wrong someone else may be, choosing reconciliation is vital. Genuine apologies and the willingness to seek forgiveness model the grace and love that Jesus showed us on the cross.

Reconciliation reflects the heart of the gospel and strengthens relationships within the church community.

Further Resources

For those looking to delve deeper into these topics, here are some excellent Christian resources:

1. “The Purpose Driven Church” by Rick Warren

2. “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan

These books offer valuable insights and practical advice for church leaders and anyone passionate about serving the body of Christ.